The ramblings of madmen

ill kupo you: Get the Come on Down?
DaveKing is a ho: yeah
ill kupo you: And?
DaveKing is a ho: and i haven\'t listened to it
ill kupo you: Do so.
ill kupo you: Now.
DaveKing is a ho: Sure thing, cookie pussy.
ill kupo you: Alright, asshole.
DaveKing is a ho: listening to it... 1 minute in, not that impressed.
ill kupo you: Wait for it.
ill kupo you: You will be.
ill kupo you: I gae-raun-tee!
DaveKing is a ho: 2 minutes. fucking yawn.\'
ill kupo you: Do you have the 8 minute one?
ill kupo you: If so, stop it now.
DaveKing is a ho: 4:56.
ill kupo you: Hrm. Restart from where you were.
DaveKing is a ho: eh?
ill kupo you: Dude!
DaveKing is a ho: ?
ill kupo you: It\'s the fucking price is right theme song, but you blow a chode!
DaveKing is a ho: considering all the Price is Right I watched the last few summers of grade school, I grew to loathe it.
ill kupo you: FUCK YOU TO HELL.
ill kupo you: I no longer wish to affiliate myself with you in any way.
DaveKing is a ho: Good.
DaveKing is a ho: Bob Barker sexually assaulted me when I was 5.
DaveKing is a ho: Or not.
ill kupo you: ...The theme still kicks ass.
ill kupo you: This you cannot deny.
DaveKing is a ho: Yes I can.
ill kupo you: No, perhaps you didn\'t hear me say cannot.
ill kupo you: This is because I typed it, and you are far away.
ill kupo you: Regardless, it\'s still the greatest game show theme ever, by far +2.
DaveKing is a ho: You\'re most definitely wrong, because I just denied the kick-ass-ness of the Price is Right theme.
DaveKing is a ho: Sure, I\'ll give you that it\'s the greatest game show theme ever, but that\'s not saying much because Game show themes are worse than rap and country music combined.
ill kupo you: Joe will come over here, pick me up with my two aluminium bats, and we\'ll change your mind.
ill kupo you: By breaking your knees.
DaveKing is a ho: I\'ll curb you both.
ill kupo you: No, because your kness will be broken, and we\'ll be urinating on your taste.
DaveKing is a ho: My knees will be in no such condition, for I will have already kneecapped you both from a distance with my good buddy Pete\'s MP5.
ill kupo you: Incorrect, because we have a 50 foot tall Jesus statue on our side.
DaveKing is a ho: I\'ll have 75-foot-tall effigies of Baal, Dagon, the Colour, and Cthulhu on my side.
ill kupo you: Prove it. Joe = Lupin, according to Brendan. Lupin, in one of Joe\'s DVDs, is supported by a 50-foot tall Jesus statue.
ill kupo you: Besides, Cthulhu can\'t touch J-dog, because he\'s not a schoolgirl.
DaveKing is a ho: Dagon would rape him. Dagon doesn\'t discriminate. Also, Cthulhu would be too busy with you to go near Jesus.
ill kupo you: You still haven\'t proved that they exist, much less that they\'re on your side.
DaveKing is a ho: I just finished carving them.
ill kupo you: 75 feet.
ill kupo you: My ass.
DaveKing is a ho: I got a ladder.
ill kupo you: Also, if you carved them, this implies they were solid.
ill kupo you: How was it bankrolled?
DaveKing is a ho: \"bankrolled\"? come again?
ill kupo you: Financed,
DaveKing is a ho: ah. I know a guy.
ill kupo you: Regardless, we stay away with ninja stealth whilst Jesus resuurects \'til they\'re dead.
DaveKing is a ho: Jesus couldn\'t resurrect. He wouldn\'t actually die. The Colour would keep him in a state of pseudo-madness while Baal restrained him and while this would be going on, Dagon and Cthulhu would search you two out and would most definitely find you because the two things that can defeat ninjas are God and Elder Gods, and Cthulhu and Dagon both fall under the latter category.
DaveKing is a ho: That took too damn long to type.
ill kupo you: Wrong. Jesus always resuurects. No matter what. Also, he is like the Neo to your Agents. He can kick all their asses at once.
DaveKing is a ho: To become resurrected, one must die. And Neo was Buddha. Not Jesus.
ill kupo you: It\'s an analogy, Stu. Hell, I could say I\'m the Buddha to your Price is Right! While I may not be Buddha, and the analogy is horrible, my point still stands.
DaveKing is a ho: The thing is, even if Jesus could fight all of them off, he wouldn\'t. He was too damn pacifistic. The one account of when he actually went on the offensive in a conflict is discounted as bullshit by almost everyone who has read it.
ill kupo you: Exactly.
ill kupo you: *kicks you in the balls and runs*
DaveKing is a ho: HaHA. I win.
ill kupo you: However, this is a Jesus statue.
DaveKing is a ho: So?
DaveKing is a ho: If it\'s merely a statue, then it cannot resurrect.
ill kupo you: This statue has no asshole, can\'t be raped. Isn\'t Jesus the man, doesn\'t not kick ass and take names. Statues never die.
DaveKing is a ho: Elder Gods>everything.
DaveKing is a ho: I win.
DaveKing is a ho: well... Elder Gods>everything with the exception of \"Mr. Blue Sky\" by ELO... and \"Carry On My Wayward Son\" by Kansas.
ill kupo you: A god exists only when people belive. Therefore, the power of a god is proportional to its worship base. There are an est. million people for every true Elder God worshipper. Therefore, the power of Jesus equals all the Elder Gods put togther ^ 6.
ill kupo you: Therefore, Joe and I break your kneecaps.
DaveKing is a ho: no. no, you don\'t, because i have the MP5, so I kneecap you when you\'re 5 miles off, idol-worship-promoting Jesus effigy or no.
ill kupo you: No. Jesus saves those who belive. Sucka.
ill kupo you: Also, good luck getting a 5 mile straight line that\'s clear from your house.
ill kupo you: W411|-|4X!
DaveKing is a ho: who said I\'d be at my house?
ill kupo you: You don\'t have to bo, Jesus still saves us.
DaveKing is a ho: Not if my crack team of sabateurs can disable your statue.
ill kupo you: Which they can\'t. Jesus can float high in the air. And I\'m sure he can spin really fast while still remaining in as much control of everything as he would be otherwise.
DaveKing is a ho: What does that have to do with anything? \"Crack\", when describing a team, translates to \"These guys can do ANYTHING. ANYTHING.\"
ill kupo you: No. If you had read the Santa Clause of the definition of crack in the context, it tells you that all powers are lost against floating, spinning really fast, 50-foot Jesus statues.
DaveKing is a ho: The definition was not part of a legally-binding contract and therefore the \"Santa Clause\" is rendered worthless.
DaveKing is a ho: So what are we arguing about again?